I Want to Believe

Where's my head? Floating like the disembodied extras in the X-files 2 movie that I went to yet again. Is that the curse of being a fan or a nerd? Maybe if I watch the movie enough times I will like it or it will in fact become a better movie. Not so much. Yet, I know I will probably make another trip to the local movie mega store to see it yet again.
So what do you learn from multiple movie viewings? Are there any lessons to be gained? Just a patch of memorized dialog and a sense of bloatiness... oh, that's just the salty popcorn being stuffed in at a rate of 2 cups per scene. Maybe multiple viewings are just a multiple escape, out of the boring humdrum of my so-called-summer existence and into Mulder and Scully land. Why am I such a fan? Growing up, I was a bit of a family outcast, because I was the only non-Trekkie in the house. Sure I'd seen the original Star Wars trilogy on the big screen - it was a passport of my adolescence. But I hated sci-fi. Not as much as musicals... and definitely not as much as child actors, but hey, who's perfect?
I seem to be queen of the rhetorical questions today. It must be Wednesday. The funny thing about my resent past and current X-phile status is the one thing that attracted me to the show was the relationship of the characters... yet the thing I didn't like in the final season was the 'relationship' of the main characters. The shippers [the hard core X-phile nerds who were all for a Scully/Mulder relationship from season 1] were probably in pig heaven following this new movie. When I say I liked the relationship, I liked the duality of believer and skeptic bending and balancing each others views. I also started watching in the first season when I think the lead actress was pregnant and I just thought it was great not to have this picture perfect sickly skinny lead. But. with the success of the show, I think she got one of those personal trainers and now in this movie she comes off as one of those sickly skinny folk. Oh sorry, back to my point... if you are still reading and foolish enough to think that there is a point... duality. yeah, two of one... one coin two sides. Skeptic and believer. Ying-Yang (my favorite symbol by the way). I so often feel I am two at once - not in a Sally Field as Sybil sort of way, but in that way that you are caught between two worlds. Black/White. Creative/Destructive. Active/Lazy. Writing/Staring at the page.